sad again~

it suposed to be very excited about the new year festival today, but why i can't even think about it .....the sadness which you all sure can't feel about....i was wondering what was happened to me recently?????
just.........something disturb me. no body will care about it, about me, about what i'm feeling......
you know? this istitution made me felt like oh damn! can't imagine......sick......
headache, sadness, all started to appear on my mind.......
what the hell? why????? i always be the weakest and the most unimportant, if is like that, please you all, no need me as the joker you all can also alive....please, let me go~~~~~
this will make me more suffer, i hate that! i hate that!
nothing to feel happy in this place.... My God! please bring me away from this! please...i'm bagging you @@.....
i will not longer stand at this place and act like nothing is happen.....
laugh happily always......ya i'm very happy with some of them in our class, made our class fun and full of joy! without them, i think i can't survive in this class.....
and one more, trustworthy friend......i'm not happy.....you will help me....thanks sooooo much....
i think i will try to stand off.......acting, cause you all also acting in front of me, why i must be the stupid person who treat you all better? no way!
no mood to perform now.......low.......
sorry if i'm not performing well today because i can't!
nothing made me to smile facing audience.....nothing, not at all.....
p/s: sometimes you say other person but you didn't mention that you are sucks than they all!