coming back again... don't know why.....recently i always post something at here lol....
but.....
actually i'm not sure what i'm writing about and.....
realising my keyboard got something wrong already....
a little bit afraid la....
i just buy this laptop not more than a year....
don't do this to me.......
can't be damaged la....
haizzzz.....
still not satisfied yet, and still wanna go hang out....

say goodbye to 2009.....
say hello to 2010.....
that's what we had receive.......
from a message............
now is 4am in the morning........
can't sleep.........
thinking about you...........
still keep on thinking...........
without any reason........
can you tell me why??????
why i'm still can't forget about you???
hate myself.......
really.......
hope this relationship can end up by the year.....
say goodbye to him....
say hello to your campus life again......
say hello to your campus "friends" again........
friends??????
bye....
2009....
closing with a great memories......
but still got a little bit unfortunate.....
can't countdown with him......
forget it!!!!
i just simply write it!
sad sad lol.....
i want to see he face before i'm leaving this town......
suddenly feeldon't want to say hello to 2010....
so fast for me.....
i'm not preparing yet.....

new year is coming....
countdown for it!
half day to go...
where should i go???
no plan...
no activities....
no money.....
no happiness...
most importantly....
no mood without you be my side.....

suddenly feel got mood to write something, so just wanna write what i'm thinking right now....
wow~ raelly feel sad to leave sp soon, like..... don't know how to say the feel, but not the bad mood, just don't know how to face institute's friends when i come back, like that time i don't know how to speak to them when i meet them at somewhere, so headache lol~
secondly want to say goodbye to my family, my beloved mom, papa, sister, chia wei, hon and jian also the most suffering thing in my life....... although i always scold them for using my laptop but actually just a scold only, not mean anything... i will miss them, my mom.... nobody can help me wash my shirt alraedy....=( my papa.... nobody can fetch me and scold me alraedy=( my sister..... nobody sponsor me money to buy this and that already=(...... chia wei.... nobody i can bully alraedy=(... hon... nobody wants fight with me already.=(... jian... nobody can use my keyboard to play sdo, take pic with me, dance with me...........=(
i don't want to go back, can't face my friends at there... one more, him.... i can't see him already.......
why my mind still can't forget him????
this people make me crazy alraedy!!!!

haha~
today i feel very happy la.... my friend all go hang out with me... we take many photo la...
haha~ then we go yoshiya eat and mcdonald... damn fun!!!!
take many photo together... but it can be the last time we can hang out together la.....
don't know when will we got chances to do such this gathering~
wow~ then i saw terry at mcdonald, so .....finally can snap a picture with him already!!! haha!!!!
but now still left him.... i haven't got chances to take picture with him...
now i'm addicted to a song that he had sent to me.... it's meaningful and...... i don't know why when i heard this song i feel comfortable and want to keeps on replaying it...... i like that song!!!
don't whether shall i ask him out to take a photo with him......
really~ don't know~

after a long long wait, tomorrow is my last day working already..... wow! don't know why feel a little bit can't put off the job aready and the people at there.... sad.....
@@ i saw him today, he wants to give back his locker key, then we got a few time to talk and.... i don't know why he is the person that i can't forget during this work, a month working at there, the most happiest thing is know they all, terry, him and his friends.... all very nice person, unlike at ipoh.... all....don't know how to imagine.....
wow! is amazing he say wants to accompany me at reat time... but consider my friends will come, i didn't call him come..... but i feel happy to talk with they all, they make me feels younger, and i like to listen to their story....
as conclusion, i like them soooo much! but don't know what time i can meet they all yet.....
please.... don't forget me and keep in contact okay????

sshhhhhhh...... i want to die already when talk to such this person, cannot cannot cannot! that just one and only the word i can hear from him, especially when i want to take leave, change syif,.....lol~
stupid person!!!!!! i want go hang out with my friend la!!!!! long time no see already lol, cannot meh???? i don't care this so much, just cut off my salary la!!!!! make people angry only, stupid person! stupid system!!!!
like just now i saw...... just talking for a moment only, why you want to rule off all the thing?????
maybe i can't see ..... already..... sad~~~~
stupid la! damn person!
if you ask me if i still want to work at there in the next holiday, not if he still work at there! damn supervisor!
i don't care already i want off! nobody can stop me right now!

sad lol.... why nobody wants to accompany me to go countdown????
last time christmas also got nobody, make me sad only.... =( all want to go for begining but then change their mind..... lol~
so shall i take leave straight away???? don't mind go or not la.... just have fun only....
countdown at where also can la my friend just don't want leave me celebrate my new year also alone only... please..... i want with you all la....
why nobody wants to reply me yet about the countdown???? i want it soooo much la....
i want go penang with you all, i have fight to take the leave to accompany you all, hope you all can also accompany me too...
=( watching movie, shopping, hang out just with you all.... because i want to go back already... back to ipoh, study~~~~~
so i hope that can give me a day to hang out with you all la.....]
come on! leng, teng, yek, chin yee, sherlinne, san, xin may, siew lee, kay yong, mai, joan, narer, jessica......
miss you all sooo much!!! where are you now????

what a boring birthday la...... i feel like miss something without a wish from somebody........
haizzz....
now just reply the birthday wish that my friends have sent to me only....bored...
=( christmas and birthday also like that, cannot celebrate well, like the things come very rush and fast..... no time for planning.... actually feel a little bit regret didn.t follow they all go countdown lol... haizzz.... it should be very fun and enjoying moment la....
then i'm also feel regret didn't go the drama at 19th december.... haizz.... prefer to go penanng that time, miss many things la....
regret for not sucess to change leave go jessica's birthday, maybe i will know many new friends at there la....
come on! so regret! need to wait people wait until last day then will talk to him, too late already, still got two chinese cashier still working only, then gent's department's staff, all handsome handsome guy... wow!
seems want to be friends with they all la......
don't want to waste my holiday just like that, i want doing something special....
^^

what a sad and bored christmas.... cannot go anywhere...... hopes that tomorrow i will go hang out or someboday will call me out la... is my birthday...
=( birthday....maybe it can also be a sad thing, getting older for a year already, if time can turn back, i hope can back to when i'm still studying form 5..... fun without anything annoying and bad situation......
hope can come back....
i don't want to go back ipoh, seems like everything in sp i don't want to leave it, really can't leave it.... can you just give me a reason why i should go back that stupid institution????

hehe~ today can be said as the best day in my life la~~~
haha~ although still got something disturbing me~ is okay la~ everything is alright now~
headache la~~~~ which place shall i go for christmas???? i really don't know....
count down~ at village mall???
party~ at jessica's house???
dinner~ at the store???
wow~ damn hard to choose... to choose it...first thing need to consider about is transport=(
by what i go??? motocycle? car? stay a night?
oOOooo my~~~~
okay, stop thinking about that first~
today my friend come find me when i'm still working~
so happy because they buy a gift for my birthday~ soooo happy la! =)
today can be said i'm very happy and satisfied already~
finally i can stop thinking about that guy~ the most best thing is know more about him and just be a friend. that's what i really want~

he really~~~~~ this time is real already~ he want to resign already!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god! that means i can't see him already~ what.... why..... so fast.....
i don't want to let him go~~~ please~ this make me feel not well and bad mood for a whole day, actually i should realised about that before, like that kind of guy can't stay at a place for a long long time .... i should know that....
cannot express how i feel right now~
meanless without him.....

sad lol~ got many days already i can't meet that guy.... we really do not have "jodoh"???? :(
last night i saw many malay newbie come to work as cashier..... now i wonder as if he and his friends already resign .... something is .... i don't know but i know very sad man!
but my sister mentioned she saw him, fully released.....
due to i sit at reception for a whole day, i can't meet him...... in my heart like mis him sooo much....
then i meet him.... but speechless~ just a moment~
my sister is right, i fall for him already, just i don't want to accept the truth only.....
a guy like that i think already got his girl already, where would him consider about me? older people, old women..... not beautiful, don't know what to talk to me....
come on! why i'm always been so bad luck like that????
i really hope he can talk to me..... tell the truth so i can give up..... but now, i really fall deeper and deeper ........

i made a decision already~ not to wear it for work today....how about tomorrow???? shall i wear it?
Christmas is coming already, but i can't find a red shirt which can match with my skirt yet.... buy from where????
help me!!!!! i'm innocense, if we like a people also wrong??? why??? why so hard for me to accept it and tell the truth?
i don't know! i don't know! i don't know!
i can't tell it out..... sad and dissapointed with myself....

today i go to penang with sherline~ haha~ a good memory for me... it was my first time go out with friends wearing contact lens... now i still wonder shall i wear it to work????
i don't know what people will think about that lol~~~
need to wake up early just because to wear the contact lens.... hard for me lol~
hehe~ today a little bit blur for me and lyn lol because we blur blur go to jetty, then blurr blurr take the ferry....haha~ very funny lol~
after bluringfor an hour finally we reach gurney plaza already! wa~ need to walk a long distance lol...
seven floor building....gurney.... really it was my first time go shopping there lol,actually not buying anything....haha~
got 2 hours for us to walk along the plaza only...then need to rushing back lol~
hard hard hard~
cannot see my friend as santa claus lol....
tomorrow....... how about tomorrow? wear it or not?

haizzz~~~~ not do contact lens yet.... maybe tomorrow i will do lol~~~
haha~ tomorrow i will kgo reception then paging.... wow~ big big challenge for me lol~ haha~
haizzzz~~~

hahahahahahaha~~~~~~
tomorrow i will and this will be first time ever i wear a contact lens....
wow, a little bit feel scare lol....
afraid the lens cannot "tanggal"........afraid not suitable for me.....
actually i found that i got abad luck today, so very afraid la.....
shall i continue it???? do the contact lens???
haizzzz~~~~
a little scared la....i wan to try la!
die ma die lol!

i think for a whole night~ i realized something........... i really like him~ much and much from day to day~~~~
die~~ @.@ i don't know how to handle it.......
what alonely christmas i thought i got on this year~~~ nobody go hang out with me, cannot off on my work.....
"just don't give up, i'm working it out, please don't give in, i won't let you down" a nice song by adam lambert, same like "future love" by kristinia debarge, my favourite song by this time. a song can told us many things we want to know..... got many special meaning in our life.....
sorry, i really got no feeling with another guy already..... that guy who i fall for him 2 years ago....
i like the other one, a guy i think about for a whole night........ but age can really be a big matter.... i know it....... after he know about my age, we had less interact already..... damn sad you know......
@.@
i want to talk to him~

today is my first day ever been at reception alone, without help of anyone. but luckily i can handle it with the help of senior~ haha~ very lucky la~
they say christmas must wear shirt followed by the theme of christmas then got a contest lol~ why don't just wear our uniform and a santa claus hat le? simple and easy.... now i wonder where should i go to find the red shirt and white pants la..... looked weird, i guess.
when i think about i can't have a holiday during christmas and new year, i feel a little bit sad lol.....
don't know why..... haizzzz... people say at least i can use this time to earn more money but i don't think so.... freedom is the most impotant thing in my life.... i'm still 17(not after 26th) so i want a life full of freedom! i want to go hang out with friends and family, go play....... my dream,....@.@
i think she reallt fall for him already, what should i do? like the same people... actually he not rea;;y handsome only.... but why we can fall for him?
stupid! i have promised myself not to talk about him again.... so forget it!
today i meet back a friend that haven't met for 2 years, feels like very weird and suddenly he become very unknown to me......@.@
haizzzz~~~

hahahahahaha~~~~~~~~
try a new hairstyle today, tie my hair la~ haha~
but sad lol, many people say not suitable for me, so i don't want tied it la......

Sometimes when we miss somebody..... but sometimes we don't know what is in our mind now~ like me~i don't know and i really got no idea why i miss him...... like think about him always... got influenced by somebody- my sister~ she always talk about him and it really makes me fall for him..... stop talk nonsense! impossible! impossible! impossible! too young and he may got girlfriend already, i feel regret to call somebody come visit me..... i don't want him to misunderstood.....
can i just cancel the meet? i am very regret now~
okay, now i will cancel the meet and meet on another day~ like monday or tuesday~

confusing~

i really don't know what am i thinking about lol~ i want die lol~
suddenly i contact back with someone who can consider as my ex lol~
don't know lol~ he ask me to go out with him~ a christmas party~ still confusing right now whether want to go or not~ he say he can fetch me but i feel uncomfortable lol~ what should i do? accept or decline? i am very selfish~
i think if he come to find me at my work place......it can test whether another person is cared about me or not only~ soooooooo bad~ why i got this thought???????
my sister is right, i like the guy already maybe....... i know is impossible for this relationship....
i'm confused la~~~~~ i don't know what is the real mean if we are falling for somebody~ so i may not like other people or that guy..... maybe i feel lonely so got a feel only~
should i accept to go out with a people that haven't meet for 2 years? i think many things can change lol~ maybe he is not the one i knew before already~

yeah! finally tomorrow i can off already! but sometimes when you have comfort with something, feels like don't want holiday "pulak" ....... maybe too many days i have worked till addicted already~ haha~
don't know where should i go hang out lol~ shopping at longwan? tesco? osman store? go "ji ke"???? where lol? shall i go central square? the place i work lol...... haha~ is my off day le~ don't want go there lol~ but i really want shopping la......
buy shoes, shirts, skirts, towels....... more! i think i may waste all of my money at the same time....... exactly~
i also want to go play badminton or any games..... go jogging to prepare next year's physical test~
haha~ one day off is not enough for me to do all these thing lol~
next week~~~~ and next next week.... my birthday!

Truth?

what's the truth in my mind now????
i don't know! want to burn out already!!!!!!!!!!

crush？really?
oh no! what am i thinking about? why i always think about him only? i'm not like that before~~~~
this really made me feel uncomfortable la.... i can't held this anymore~
tell me what should i do? i need to forget about that feel quickly~ not even appear it anymore, say goodbye to that cutie~

Waiting, waiting, doon't know what am i waiting for~
i don't know why, today my sister talk many things about him, i wonder why....... just say goodbye only, why she so concerned about it? my sister also talk to me that all her friends think he is cute~ cute? really?
wow~ this like made me more like him after my sister have told me that~ it just like been influenced by other people you know~ wow, sucks~
now, i got a little suspect that my sister also like him well, even though she seldom talk about a chinese is cute or what, i am really confused now.... somebody can help me? solve this confusion that i got in my mind now.... please, stop it! Don't keep on watching him, it will made you..... like have caught a virus~

Friend? Where got friend in this world???? Are you sure really got friend who cares about you????????????
Friend? concern about all the things you do~ My sister just wake me up~ Oh My God! How stupid am i today....... i made my sister so angry~ Don't know why she so care about such a thing like~~~~~~~~ i really don't understand what they are talking about, why they so concern a such little thing? why they think so many things????
Bully??? how about bully? when we really concern about a friend.....it really can made us been bullied???????
i'm so confused now~ am i stupid? am i dumb? i don't know~

Nothing to say.... very very very very very bad luck!!!!!!!! Shit!
I have lost my locker key.... then i can't go out eat with my sister, what the ******
Then i have lost the game~
lost....... very fail!
working more than half day doesn't like what i'm thinking about, that's not even fun! not happy at all.......
i think i really getting older already compared with others part time.... they can hang out together and happy ..... who am i? i looked too ego??????? too arrogant??????
why like nobody want to talk to me????? i feel really fail and sad......
for they, who am i? old lady? too mature?
i want to be like them! hang out happily together...... like the past time~

something is disturbing me right now! or i should say someone~~~~~ i don't know, maybe i'm too ego to win at everything~ like when i saw him talking with that girl, i feel not good, that is not because of jealousy, i know it.....don't know what cause i feel like that, i am the one who act rude to him and made him scared to me, but now when i saw him with others girl talk happily, i'm ..... don't know how to say~
then, i do such a bad thing, haha~
i made him, or just he came and talk to me again...... i just standing there and he also confusing, i think he think if he want to come talk to me or not..... then he come~ haha~ i'm suceed!
i try to take this chance, don't want to act like last time again~ haha! last time i have shocked him so now, i'm not acting like that again, try to talk....... be a friend~ maybe~~~~~~
that is not because i like that guy, just to act in front of that girl only....... i don't like her~ haha!
right now i think i'm the worst person! Oh my! sorry to all my friend if this had made you all feel i'm not mine......... but that is me! i want to win! win! win!
i will fight for it!

Can't wait can't wait to reach 18 but a little bit feel like don't want to grow up so fast because i don't to be responsible on everything! 18 is like you are big already, many things you can do happy hour and......
"future love" by kristinia debarge, i like that song soooo much! Damn like it!
i don't know why everytime i hear that song like got a weird feeling about my lover at future, i don't know how will i meet him anh at where i will meet that guy..... ^^ hope it is a sweetest memories in my life even though it may not last longer~ i just want a real real love, love that can make us comfortable and happy~
wow~ i don't know from when i dream for a love..... am i mature enough to accept the truth? because of my physical appearance and attitude, i may not attract people to fall for me~ how shall i change? really want to change? maybe i have lost many chances already~ just last chance for me okay? i want to try like others......

i want holiday never ends! i relly enjoy it by working! i like that feeling even though got something unhappy when i work at there, i think and i'm sure i can handle it! i meet new friends and i'm sure nobody will pretend like at teaching institute~ i like to hang out with them......
i want to try to talk to them! i know i can do it! must be confident to myself!
^^
can we get more holiday~